A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar

Whats going on in MANILA???? I would like to know.

Thank you.

Love Me

"you think you know... but you forgot"



p.s. MY DADDY HAS THOSE SLIPPERS!

this is what's up with me:
my weight. I'M A FATTY. fatty fat blubber of fat.
and i dont want to go back to school in january.
and i work all the fuck day long. and im still broke.
and... i miss everyone's calls on my cellphone.

mia ferrer. i miss you to death. if you ever read this.

HAHAHAHA. this is so FAKKKKKEEE!!! but at least i didnt get any guy matches. i dont look like a guy... AFTER all.





p.s. why does rachel bilson look like... that? ewwww...

for the first time in my two month job history, i closed the store today. and you would think it's a good thing because they now trust me, etcetera etcetera. except... i'm home right now and instead of feeling all good bout myself, i am freaking out with paranoia! i feel like i didn't lock the cashier... or i forgot to lock the cashier... and tomorrow when my boss comes in to open, he'll discover that the store is empty cos we've been robbed. (the keys to the cellphone cases are in the cashier). that's 300 dollars in cash and about a bazillion dollars worth of cellular phones.

i keep imagining in my head tomorrow morning's events: my boss'll be waking me up at 9 am all panicky and freaking out because the store is totally empty. and then i'll get fired, THEN SUED and THEN broke for life because i'll be paying out my loan to cingular for ever and ever.


I NEVER WANNA CLOSE THE STORE AGAIN! (i'm just too paranoid for my own good).

Every night, at 2 a.m., i watch reruns of the first TV show i ever watched and was obsessed about. Ok, so i was only obsessed about this one guy...



presenting, my first boyfriend. (yes, seriously, he is the first and patrick dempsey, aka mcdreamy of grey's anatomy is the second. i am a tv dork.)

p.s. jordan catalano is the dreamiest name ever.
p.p.s. i'm naming my kid jordan. and marrying someone whose last name is catalano.

IM SO HEARTBROKEN RIGHT NOW. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DALLAS'S, NOT THE FUCKING HEAT'S.

There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. Then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice... And then there are the sacrifices that you cant even figure out why you're making.

i swear to god, this whole insomnia thing is seriously cramping my style. who the hell wants to keep waking up at 4 in the afternoon??? how do you cure it??? someone help me! staying up all night is so boring. and i CANNOT be waking up to sunset.

i think i need exercise. it seems, i don't get tired anymore. which i suspect is also the reason why i am fat fat FAAAAAAAAAT.

FUCK.

this weekend was my i'm-the-only-child weekend. my siblings spent friday and saturday over at my cousin's place. i'm not being an evil sister but... i was soooooo excited! (haha). not that i wanted to get rid of them (of course not!). but seriously, i've always wanted to try out this only child thing.

so today i: ordered in lunch for my mom and i. for once, we had to struggle to fill in the 200 peso minimum. for dinner, we ate in the kitchen, which we never do because the kitchen fits... 4. and we're 9. i also got the last piece of chicken and didn't have to fight anyone for it! (in this house, there's no such thing as seconds).

BUT, the clincher part of this whole "being-the-only-child" thing is this: i actually went to rockwell to catch the da vinci code with my parents--just the three of us because, tadaaaaa, we're all above 18 (no need to worry about movie ratings) and could stay up late to catch the last full show (my three sisters never last beyond midnight). we didn't get tickets (who knew da vinci code would be SO in demand at 11 pm?), but STILL.. i've never taken a car to the mall. we need the van to fit us all in.

now, i'm back here at home and we're having our midnight snack of take out north park. (my mom keeps teasing me about staying home on a saturday night to be with them.)

okay so i kinda love being the only child! (we want what we can't have! right? haha!) soooo... maybe we could work out a system where i am the only child twice a week?

...only kidding! i miss my siblings already! ;-)


on a totally different note, my friends threw me a surprise despedida last night. as if i needed reminding--i really HAVE the BEST set of friends ever (thank you guys!).

it kinda sucks though that what it actually means is... that i'm leaving in 7 days.

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us on the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later, we have to put aside our denial and face the world, head on, guns blazing. Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt. It’s a freakin’ ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

exactamente.

i was driving home from cathy's house yesterday at 2 in the morning when it started to rain. and when i finally got myself all showered up and clean and into my bed at 3, it was still raining. 12 hours later, at 3 p.m., i wake up to the pitter-patter of the rain. now, THAT is the best way to end and start the day. i could live with rainy-24/7-days. (um, but only if i didn't go to ateneo. because the rain in ateneo is, oddly enough, yucky and gross. but other than that--i still love the rain.:-))

happy birthday to my gorgeeeeeous friend cathy! (so sorry i'm missing out on punta fuego) love you! <3

macky! you're coming home in 6 days! yay! we can't wait!

you know, of all the doctor-shows on television, it's really only grey's anatomy that makes me actually want to become a doctor. all that surgery? pretty fascinating stuff. i also like the interaction with the patients. but then again, maybe its also because in GA, there's eye candy everywhere. i really wouldn't mind a resident as hot as patrick dempsey. screw hospital rules, i'd go for it, immediately. hehe. 

i'm a television addict, i know it. the kind that gets way tooooo wrapped up in the story. i forget its not real.

Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me. -Meredith on Grey's Anatomy

WHY WHY WHY does my sister insist on weighing herself RIGHT after she eats a WHOLE bag of chips? or any meal, for that matter. what is she? addicted to weight-depression? geeez. i don't even get why she complains about "weight gain" -- isn't it a given, after that kind of meal?

so there you go. the weight-obsession-disease-thing has afflicted my two sisters. (the other one ACTUALLY won't tell me her stupid weight. and she's decided that her new mantra is, i'm going on a diet, i'm going on a diet. too bad she bakes, AND she's a sucker for desserts.)

it's sooooo official: i'm living in a house with too MANY teenagers in it. haha :-P

seriously though? i kind of like living with the teenage versions of ourselves. (sooo much better than teenage-me and annoying-kiddie-them)

i think i'm beginning to see the light on this whole OC thing. i watched the christmukkah episode of--get this--SEASON 1 (on star world), and i really love seth. he's so funny! i couldn't stop laughing at all his comments. so cute! i can kind of relate now when people talk about the OC. i find it funny though that i know what's going on in season 3, yet still haven't finished season 1. oh well, at least i ACTUALLY know now that ryan and seth aren't long lost twin brothers, separated at birth and then reunited by some whatever twist of fate. i always thought they were... :-P

i also caught grey's anatomy. the first episode. pretty good! when i watch shows like that i all of sudden want to become a doctor... yeah right! haha. well, i can dream of becoming a doctor for one hour each week, right? if only i had the patience, i really would consider doctor-ing. speaking of which, that guy is SO hot. the attending doctor person. what's his name? and also the yabang resident who hates nurses (he was in jlo's movie the wedding planner too). hot doctors = 8-D

so many shows, so little time. i love being horizontal. :) off to palawan tomorrow! the best way to spend holy week--reading loads of chick lit (haha) while soaking up the sun.

summer just started, and i'm already having the best one so far. (the beach+friends=absolutely the best thing about summer vacation.) it's so bittersweet. i already miss my friends. and i'm still with them. hay.


...on a lighter note. SOMEONE do a ten things to me--but sing F.N.T by semisonic instead! it's been showing a lot on star movies lately, and i just loooove the song. (I'm surprised that you've never been told before. That you're lovely and you're perfect. And that somebody wants you.)

p.s. that makes 2 on my list of 'movie-scenes-i-want-turned-live'... right after love actually's 'to-me-you-are-perfect' flash cards. haha :)
p.p.s. new layout and i luv it!

i was looking for pictures of that hottie from she's the man, channing tatum, and i landed on a site called: most beautiful man. haha, go figure. check it out at mostbeautifulman.com, it's just a bit on the porn side (with all the near-naked men in model-y brief-y poses), but those men are like, REALLY HOT!!! channing tatum, kuno becker, gael garcia bernal, paul walker, ian somerhalder, josh duhamel... plus they cover all categories too: models, atheletes, actors. i tried picking my top 5--i can't. i just thank god for... beautiful men.

ANYWAY, i digress. the funny thing is, PIOLO PASCUAL is on that site. he was like mr. may 2003. haha that cracked me up so bad. (channing is mr. october! hahahah) oh, the joy of doing mindless things in the summer.

okay it's three pm, and i've prolonged doing my two last papers for a whooooooole day. i so know i'm going to end up cramming. countdown to summer officially begins: just two more papers (for S.A. and Law) and 3 more finals (if i decide to take that no risk economics one.)

this sem flew by so quickly. it was so much fun, but it was also a lot of work. i still can't believe i had sir cielito habito this semester. he's like the best teacher ever. i was soooo starstruck. i think i took every chance i got to have consultation with him or to text him useless things like, hey sir, what does value of money mean? hahah! pyscho, i know. :-P (and hey in my defense, he said he liked having consultations). sooooo my effort has paid off--he knows my name... out of the eighty students he had. yay! when he runs for president, and wins, i can totally brag that i knew him... the highlight of my sophomore year. :-D

hmmm... you know summer has started when naps without airconditioning is impossible, and the junkfood in your stomach has multiplied exponentially. can't wait to finally see all my friends after months of hibernation. i think i was literally married to caffeine and chained to my seat so i could study. but yay, summer's here. :)

oh my god. i just spent almost TWELVE hours doing... i don't know what... (i was home at 12) it's amazing what you can think of to do just to stall starting on homework. i hate homework, it's absolutely the most boring-est thing on earth. (i especially hate doing accounting problems on stupid yellow paper!) they should've just invented a school system that never went beyond school grounds... ie, no homework. it's all about spontaneous learning and stock knowledge, the ability to keep stuff retained in your head. haha, boy, we'd get far with that.

three more weeks of hell. :-) i can almost feel palawan sand and sun... mmmmm....